Sometimes the death of a parent doesn’t really compute for us.
Regardless of our age, or even whether we’re on close terms with our parents, or we’re estranged from a complicated relationship, parents seem to us almost immortal in nature. An unwavering rock in the twists and spins of life. No wonder most of us don’t really know how to deal with the death of a parent.
If that’s you, don’t worry. You’ve come to the right place. Keep on reading for our little guide on how to gently heal from the death of a parent.
The Emotional Cornerstone of Dealing Death of a Parent: You’re Valid
Generally speaking, sadness is the most common emotional denominator that people feel right after losing a parent.
Yet, if you’re experiencing another feeling, you need to know that it’s valid and healthy for you. Not everyone deals with trauma in the same way.
You might be feeling relieved that they’re no longer in pain, especially if they’ve been suffering from a chronic illness for a while. Also, you might just not be feeling anything. Numbness might be the right coping mechanism for your body to process or even prevent mental pain.
The key thing to do at this stage is to have deep sympathy and understanding of your own mental landscape.
Remember That Grief Isn’t Uniform Across Humanity
Grief is the farthest thing from a one-size-fits-all emotion. The way you exhibit your grief might be similar to how a friend has also dealt with extreme loss, or it might look completely different.
Moreover, the grief doesn’t have a deadline either. You shouldn’t be expecting a specific cut-off point, where you’re in a much better place and you’re not experiencing grief at all.
After all, the natural process of grieving isn’t linear. You can’t take specific steps, and reach time-based milestones, then expect to be completely healed.
Be prepared for reminders or even new stressors that might turn-on your grieving process, as if you haven’t been healing already. Just take your time, and know that there’s no rush.
Anger Is Perfectly Okay
It’s more than totally okay to feel angry. As a matter of fact, you can go right ahead and feel pissing mad.
Anger is a normal and perfectly natural reaction to unexplainable phenomena like death. As humans, we might have a more scientific understanding of the death processes on the biological level. However, we haven’t even started dealing with the emotional burden of losing our loved ones forever.
Don’t hide from your anger, and don’t hide it away. This is even more relevant if you’ve lost your parent due to the mistakes or ignorance of others. Seeking closure through suing is a perfectly valid action. Just check this recent blog post to learn whether your loved one’s death is considered a wrongful death.
Unlocking Mental Health and Self-Care
We know that things might be overwhelming at the moment. So remember to take it step-by-step and a day at a time. Dealing with the death of a parent can look quite different from one person to another.
Hopefully, our little guide on the different ways to heal from the loss of a loved one has made you feel like you’re not alone.
Just remember that professional help is always a call or a text away.