No surprise but date night is my favorite night of the week. When I have one on the calendar, I think about it all day. From the moment I wake up to the second the date starts, I’m anticipating it, preparing for it and counting down the minutes until my husband and I together, drink in hand. And because I come prepared, it winds up being a fun, sexy night.
The problem is many of us come to our date nights with zero prep and zero intention. Showing up willy-nilly to your rendezvous isn’t priming either of you for intimacy and excitement. Rolling in like that is just having dinner. What I’m talking about is doing date night.
So how do we take those sacred nights from ho-hum to holy crap? Lots of ways. Here are a few of my favorites:
The element of surprise: Instead of having your standard Saturday night date, plan a surprise one. Call or text him that morning and tell him to meet you out or to run home and change. Book the sitter, pick a place and tell him it’s on. He will think it’s super hot you made the effort and the element of surprise brings novelty to your routine which will amp up the sexy quotient. All good things to have on date night.
Get his name tattooed on your body: No, not for real. I’m talking about faux ink. My makeup artist does this with all her brides on their wedding days and I thought, “brilliant date night move!”. Take a sharpie or some waterproof black liner and write his name somewhere special. Hips, side boob, stomach…anywhere you can picture him kissing you. Then reveal it when the time is right and watch his eyes light up with surprise and desire. You will be tapping into very latent, evolutionary needs for ownership and it will spark some very hot primal feelings. So sexy. So simple.
Start flirting BEFORE the date: When it’s a date night, I lay the flirting on thick. I will send him a little text in the morning (even if it’s a weekend and he’s standing across the kitchen island from me) with a little hint as to what’s to come. Or you can leave a printout of a new sex position on his wallet with a “wanna try this tonight?” note. Or if you’re feeling bold, send him a hot sext to build anticipation for the night ahead. You’re building anticipation. It’s a massively powerful aphrodisiac and boosts desire, longing and some pretty great sex. Flirt. It’s necessary.
Spend time getting ready: If you can find time to really ready yourself for the date, you’ll feel WAY sexier. If you feel sexy you become sexy both to yourself and to your partner. I’m not saying you need to take hours to get dressed. I’m just saying spend some time doing whatever you need to do to feel your sexiest. Before my date nights, I make the sitter come over earlier so I can selfishly ensconce myself in my room. I spend time on my hair. I spend time on my makeup. I make myself feel beautiful. And when I feel beautiful IT’S GAME TIME.
Lingerie: Men are visual. It’s biological. Which is why (most) men love lingerie. Really sexy lingerie is not made for everyday. It’s made for special occasions. And date night is one of them. You’ve got two ways to go here…1) wear something sexy underneath your clothes and tease him that it’s there or 2) save it for when you get home and tell him to meet you upstairs in five minutes. Either option works. Despite your fears that your tush looks lumpy and your stomach is fat (all untrue by the way), all he will see is a gorgeous woman who wants to have sex with him and that feels pretty darn empowering. Trust me.
Amping up date night doesn’t need to be difficult, but it does need to be done. You deserve to feel sexy and desired and the amazing connection that comes from that. And great sex. You definitely deserve great sex. Don’t forget that part.
PS – If you need some help in the great sex department,.
Brooke Christian is a the founder of Flirty Girl, an unabashedly honest voice for women about sex and married life and motherhood. Brooke runs Flirty Girl using babysitting hours, her husband’s generosity and as much caffeine as her body can handle. Having formerly run marketing and promotions at InStyle, Harper’s Bazaar and O, The Oprah Magazine, Brooke now leverages her former role as an influencer to not only change women’s sex lives but to change women themselves. She is the ultimate Flirty Girl – sexy, confident, feminine, flawed and most of all, real.for more ideas, inspiration and commiseration and shop her online store at .