Dating and relationship priorities have changed somewhat over the last 50 years. In his marriage guidance book, Sex Today in Wedded Life, published in 1943, Edward Podolsky offered women these pearls of wisdom:
“Don’t bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work… Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman’s business.”
That’s right women, once you have been lucky enough to find a man prepared to feed and clothe you, don’t scare him away by talking to him about your life. Instead you must listen attentively to his every word, while making him feel special and cared for.
These ideas may seem archaic to us now, but at the time, they were a fair reflection of relationship expectations. A woman looked for a man that could provide for her, without drinking his week’s wages away in the pub. A man wanted a woman to cook, clean and provide marital relations.
Today relationships are much more likely to be built on shared interests, and complementary personalities, which is why being able to search for matches on free online dating sites, is so helpful.
Even though the game has changed, there’s still a few ideas from the last century that could be useful in modern dating.
1. Old Fashioned Manners And Politeness Go A Long Way
Many of the things we consider to be ‘old-fashioned’ now, are actually just politeness.
Men should not underestimate the importance of chivalry. Hold open the door, pay the bill, and make sure she is safely ensconced in a taxi before you disappear home. These small acts of kindness will raise you in her estimations. If you’ve met through a shared interest dating site, you’ll already have a good idea of the activities she enjoys, and can plan a date accordingly.
Ladies, give your inner feminist the night off, accept these gestures with grace, and learn how to receive a compliment without brushing it off.
2. Be A Good Listener
“Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; your will seem trivial in comparison.” – Edward Podolsky, Sex Today In Wedded Life, 1948.
It was unthinkable to Podolsky that a mere woman might have something on her mind of any importance. Much better for her to listen to the woes of her husband, so she may realise how petty her concerns are.
When you’re dating someone, be careful not to presume that your troubles are more serious than theirs.
If you monopolise the conversation with your day-to-day worries, you risk boring your date, or worse upsetting them if they have more serious problems to be concerning themselves with.
3. Stay Sober
“Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly… The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again.” – Click Parade Magazine 1938.
However funny, interesting or entertaining you think alcohol makes you, there will come a point in the evening where the joke’s on you.
Whether you are male or female, having one or two social drinks during your date is fine, but it really is most impolite to render yourself unconscious through excess alcohol consumption.
4. No More Drama
“Men don’t like tears, especially in public places” – Click Parade 1938
A date in a public place, is not the ideal opportunity to unpack all your dirty laundry and give it a good airing. Hearing about your family dramas or Facebook breakup with your ‘bff’ is boring, uncomfortable, and looks like you are trying to get a sympathy vote.
If your date begins using you as an unpaid counsellor, listen sympathetically for a short while before trying to change the conversation topic. If they continue to vent then pay attention to that giant red flag and reconsider your future.
In case you thought this advice only applied to women, men take heed – women don’t like you to cry in public places either.
Time for a quick recap of these old-fashioned tips for modern day relationships, before you embark on new dating adventures:
– Be polite
– Listen more than you talk
– Do not get so drunk you pass out
– Save your emotional breakdowns for the privacy of your own home
This lesson in love is brought to you by Match Me Happy, a genuine free online dating site, for singles who genuinely want to meet people online. You can find more lessons in love on Match Me Happy’s Facebook, or by following @MatchMeHappy on Twitter.