How to Start a Tinder Conversation: 25 Do’s and Don’ts




Tinder is one of the most popular platforms and used by millions around the world, so there’s certainly no shortage of potential matches! Whether you’re new to it or an avid user, it never hurts to brush up on your Tinder etiquette.

Here are 25 do’s and don’ts for starting a Tinder conversation:

1. Do Compliment a Photo

But don’t be weird about it! (I.e., don’t go straight for the physical features.)

2. Don’t Start With “Hey”

Sigh. No one likes opening up a message that says “Hi.” Doesn’t show a lot of effort right?

3. Do Send Something Flirty

It’s okay to flirt a little, as long as it doesn’t come across as creepy. Try a bit of teasing, such as, “You actually like pineapple on pizza? I’m going to need an explanation.” (Insert wink emoji.)

4. Don’t Wait for Them to Make the First Move

Guy or girl, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move! If you’re interested, go for it.

5. Do Ask About What They’re Into

Figure out their hobbies and interests to see if you have anything in common.

6. Don’t Be Overly Aggressive

While you don’t want to keep your initial greeting too short, you don’t want to come at them with your whole life story, either.

7. Do Keep it Simple

Starting a Tinder conversation should be simple, but engaging. Something like, “Hey there! You seem like a lot of fun, got anything exciting planned this week?”

8. Don’t Wait Too Long to Reply

If you’re into them, show it! Don’t wait long enough for them to assume you’re uninterested.

9. Do Ask a Question

Think of a good question to get the conversation flowing. It can be as simple as, “You seem to like the same corny humor as I do, got any good dad jokes?”

10. Don’t Talk About Super Deep Issues

When starting a Tinder conversation, no one wants to hear your political or philosophical commentary right out of the gate.

11. Do Check Your Spelling and Grammar

Typos happen, but if they’re overtly bad, it can take away from the conversation.

12. Don’t Skip Over Their Profile

Read it thoroughly! If you’re truly interested, take the time to get to know as much as you can before starting a Tinder conversation.

13. Use in-app features to your advantage

Check out their embedded Spotify playlist. If a particular song or artist sticks out that you’re into, let them know!

14. Do Use a GIF

Who doesn’t love a good GIF? Just make sure it’s appropriate for whatever you’re trying to convey.

15. Don’t Be Creepy

Starting a Tinder conversation with an inappropriate comment about a body part isn’t just borderline harassment, it’s totally creepy.

16. Do Take Hints From Their Bio

See if you have anything in common or a question about the information and start with that.

17. Don’t Harass Them if You Don’t Get a Response

Send the message and let it lie. If they’re interested, they will respond—it’s as simple as that!

18. Do Point Out Similarities

Something like, “I see you play the guitar! I just started myself, I could definitely use some pointers!”

19. Don’t Go Overboard with Emojis and GIFs

GIFs are funny, but too many of them are just annoying. Emojis are fine, but too many of them…not sexy.

20. Don’t Go Straight to Looks

It might be okay to compliment their eyes later on in the conversation, but focusing on their body right at the start might not send the right message.

21. Do Use Humor

Everyone scores extra points for being funny! Try to figure out the type of humor they enjoy from their profile, or just go for it with a cheesy (yet innocent) pick-up line.

22. Don’t Be Too Cliche

Your “Netflix and chill?” line isn’t impressing anyone!

23. Do Be Straightforward

Don’t start a Tinder conversation with a lie (saying you’re into something when you’re not, exaggerating your height) or trying to act like someone you’re not.

24. Don’t Be Condescending or Rude

A pickup line like, “The more I drink, the more attractive you get!” is downright rude. Along these lines, if you send a message and don’t get a response, following up with “You were fat anyway” is a great way to let them know they dodged the ultimate bullet.

25. Don’t Get Discouraged

If you’re doing everything right and still can’t seem to connect with anyone on Tinder, try not to let it get you down!

Starting a Tinder conversation doesn’t have to be complicated! By keeping it simple, straightforward, and honest (and funny doesn’t hurt), you’ll be connecting with a match in no time.



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