We all want to live as well and as long as we can, and we want all of our loved ones to be present and healthy forever and no one wants to think about the prospect of death. But eventually, our bodies betray us, and we begin to show the unfortunate signs of aging. If your loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it’s important to prepare yourself for the inevitable emotional upheaval. Looking after a person who is dying can be both physically and emotionally hard work. Death from a terminal illness is often a slow process and becomes something you wait for, and it’s quite common to begin grieving before the person dies. Knowing what to expect during a loved one’s final days and what it is that you can do to make it more comfortable, can help you prepare to handle the event and make the most of the time that you have got left to spend with them.
Talk About Your Feelings
Both you, your family and the loved one reaching the end of his life are surely dealing with many emotions at that time. They are often a combination of sadness, fear, anger, and mostly regret. You may be unsure about discussing the end of life with the person who is dying because you think you might upset them even more. What you are feeling might be so complex that it’s so hard to find the right words or any words at all and it is common to worry about saying the wrong thing. While starting the conversation can be difficult, but the opportunity to share feelings can be valuable for both of you. It’s okay to say you don’t know what to say and let them know if you feel uncomfortable. They might be feeling uncomfortable too and talking about everything that’s on your mind can even make the whole process seem more natural than it feels.
Help Them With Their Final Wishes
Whether regarding the future treatment options or the way they want to spend their last days, you have to keep in mind that it is on you to help them decide on these things. Maybe they want to visit with an old friend or a distant family member, go to a specific place for the one last time, listen to their granddaughter play piano, or watch their favorite movie or a TV show, try and help them grant final wishes if possible. The same goes for deciding on the way they wish to be medically treated. If you are not familiar with what is medically done in these situations, make sure to offer your loved one to go through every detail together and help them make the right choice.
Get Important Documents
While in the middle of an emotional rollercoaster the paperwork may seem overwhelming, it is advised to get it out of the way as early as possible to save time and energy for later actions. There are two documents every adult should have, from a healthcare perspective. The first is the directive regarding what medical care you don’t want to, also known as DNR (Do Not Resuscitate order), and the ones you do expect to get. And the other one is the organ donation document. With these in place, your medical professionals will know exactly what your intentions are. The other legal document in question is the will. Besides these, there are so many more important pieces of paperwork and information you should gather together. The best solution to this hectic paperwork situation is getting this necessary legal document checklist for your elderly parents in advance, which is designed to help you save time when you most need it.
Supporting Spiritual and Emotional Needs
A person nearing the end of life will surely experience distressed or sometimes conflicting emotions. The one simple way of providing emotional support is listening and being present. Your physical presence alone, just sitting quietly, or holding hands can be more soothing and reassuring than you imagine. Besides that, people who know they are near the end of life may often reflect on their beliefs, values, faith, or the meaning of life. They may have questions about if they will be remembered and how, or think about the need to forgive and be forgiven by another. Some may feel conflicted about their faith or religion, therefore it is crucial to understand if the dying person wants to talk about spiritual concerns and try your best to provide comfort by listening to them and reminding them what they mean to you.
Spend Time With Your Loved One
The person who is diagnosed with a terminal illness is still your friend, spouse, child, relative – the person he or she was before the terminal illness. Although they may not able to do things the way they used to, they are still the same person. Because of the feeling that we can’t do anything to improve the situation or make it better, we may feel at a loss for what to say or do, and the easier answer to this question is to relax. Do whatever you have always done together. Talk about the same things, make each other laugh, remember mutual memories, and talk about everyday things. It is very important to make this uncomfortable situation as comfortable as you can, by acting the same way as the days before you found out that any of the following might be the last. It helps ease the stress for both of you, and your family and friends.
Even though everyone knows death is a natural part of life, nobody thinks about having to watch his loved one go through the final stage of their life. Nobody is ever prepared for that anyway. Everything mentioned above is only a reminder of the things that are important to follow, which help in situations like this when you feel lost and helpless. So keep in mind to focus on the important things, and get the most boring stuff done first so you can spend more time peacefully with your loved one. Use this time to help them to provide any help and support they might need, and make them feel loved cherished forever.
