First date sex? Expert shares why this may be a GOOD idea

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and with that comes a renewed commitment from many singletons around the world to date and find the one. But when it comes to intimacy, how many of us are throwing out the “third date rule” to have sex straight away? And why might some of us still prefer to wait?

Sexual wellness brand www.lovehoney.com has surveyed over 2,000 adults to investigate how many of us have had sex on the first date, and why we are – or aren’t – open to it. Plus, relationship, sex, and mental health expert Rachel Wright (MA, LFMT) shared her insights into why first-date sex may actually be a good move.

Here are some key findings from the study:

• 49% of people confess to having had sex on the first date before

• Over one in seven men are open to sex on date number one, whereas the majority of women (61%) are not

• The most common reason for not getting intimate on the first date is feeling uncomfortable having sex with someone we don’t know well (47%)

Relationship, Sex & Mental Health Therapist, Rachel Wright (MA, LFMT) comments:

“Sex on the first date can be beneficial if you want to have sex on the first date. Here’s the thing – there is no “right time” to have sex. And I’m talking about sex with the definition of “a meaningful experience of pleasure.” The concepts of “don’t give away the milk for free” and “they won’t like me anymore if I give it up too quickly” are old and antiquated and can create so much shame for people of all genders.

“For some people, having sex right away is incredibly helpful in determining if they want to go on a second date, and for others feels entirely out of reach because they need to have an established emotional connection with the person before they can have sex.

“Wherever you fall on this spectrum is perfectly okay, and it’s encouraged to talk to the person you’re going out with about it. If you’ve been texting for 2 days before the date, perhaps it may not come up – but if you have been texting for 2 months and trying to schedule a date and it’s finally happening, you may have already discussed sex. Be honest with yourself and the person you’re going out with about

Nearly half of all adults admit to having sex on the first date

Despite some lingering stigma, having sex on the first date is by no means uncommon in today’s culture of dating apps and sex positivity. But just how many of us are throwing out the third date rule to have sex straight away? And why might some of us still prefer to wait?

Sexual wellness brand www.lovehoney.com has surveyed over 2,000 adults to investigate how many of us have had sex on the first date, and why we are – or aren’t – open to it.

49% of singletons have admitted to having sex on the first date

Nearly half (49%) of respondents to Lovehoney’s survey said that they have had sex on date number one. Men are particularly prone to a first-date hookup, with just under 60% of male respondents admitting to having done this.

Women, on the other hand, are slightly less inclined to jump into bed right away, with only 43% having had sex on the first date and 46% saying they never have. Given that women have generally received more judgment throughout history for being sexually active, it’s not surprising that they may want to wait longer before having sex.

Over 70% of men are open to sex on the first date, but the majority of women (61%) are not

When asked whether they were open to having sex on the first date (even if they previously haven’t), over 70% of men said yes but the majority of women (61%) said no.

Men’s most common reason (and the most common reason overall) for being open to sex on the first date is simply because they enjoy it, but the majority of female respondents who were open to it said that this is because it enables them to see if they’re sexually compatible straight away. 49% of women selected this as their primary reason for being okay with sex on the first date, compared to 44% of men.

47% of people aren’t comfortable having sex with someone they don’t know well

Among those who said they’ve never had sex on a first date, the most common reason (47%) was that they don’t feel comfortable having sex with someone they don’t know very well. This was followed by ‘I don’t believe in having sex on the first date’ (38%), and ‘I only enjoy sex with people I have an emotional connection with’ (32%).

A lack of emotional connection was the second most popular reason among men, suggesting that men are more likely than women to want emotional closeness before things get physical.

You can view the full study https://www.lovehoney.com/blog/sex-on-the-first-date.html