Did you know that when sex is good, it adds 15-20% additional value to a relationship? But when sex is bad or non-existent, it drains about 50-70% of the positive value right out the window. A healthy and satisfying sex life is positive for both your health and your well being.
- Making it fun. The good thing about improving our intimate relationship is that it doesn’t have to be a grinding exercise in self-discipline. In fact, it shouldn’t be. You want to tickle the most primitive pleasure centers in your brain—the part that eons of evolution fine-tuned so that sex is pleasurable and intimacy is deeply satisfying. So, a light touch and playful intent is often better than acts of will and grim resolve.
- Making it specific. Grandiose is good but measurable is better. Make a pact to improve your pelvic health by using a vaginal moisturizer daily and a few reps of kegels four times a day. Notice at least one thing you like about your partner every day, and express appreciation for it. Suggest one new position to try each month, etc.
- Being realistic. Even with something that’s supposed to be light-hearted, like improving your sex life, you should realistically assess what is likely to work for both you and your partner.
- Writing it down. Or better yet, get your partner’s suggestions and buy-in, so both of you are involved. Resolutions are more likely to be successful when you’ve made a verbal or written commitment.
- Persevere. Of course your resolve will wax and wane. Of course you’ll forget about your date night or run out of nice things to notice about your partner- but don’t give up, get up and start again!