Whether you are dating or married, every relationship begins with a hot and heavy honeymoon stage. At this stage, the physical attraction or the sexual impulse between couples is at its zenith. So, everything seems to be going well. Of course, the need for physical attraction varies from couple to couple.
Some couples are perfectly content with having sex once or twice a week, while others want to do it more often. Unfortunately, some couples put too much emphasis on the sexual relationship. Soon, they become one of those couples that do nothing but have sex and eat food together. However, you can’t build a long-term relationship based on physical attraction alone. It takes more than that to make a great relationship work.
1. The Natural High of Physical Intimacy Won’t Last Long
You must have been attracted towards the opposite sex and must have heard your parents blaming it on the hormones. All of us have heard the term “It’s the hormones” in our teens. But, the truth is these hormones continue to dominate the physical aspect of our romantic relationships for well into our adulthood.
In fact, monastic relationships and neurotransmitters such as dopamine have a close bond. When you have sex, your brain releases dopamine which is the reward hormone. It’s one of the reasons why sex feels so great. However, dopamine is a drug, although a natural one. So, while having sex or kissing your partner or flirting with them, you are experiencing a natural high. In the honeymoon phase of the relationship, you are literally getting drunk on these hormones.
Sadly, hormones work like all other drugs. Their effects wear off after some time. When the chemicals wear off, at least one of you starts to feel like you should have more than just sex in your life. That’s when your relationship starts to dwindle. However, most happy couples make sure to develop an emotional bond well before the physical attraction wears out. That’s why they are the perfect couples.
2. Physical Attraction Doesn’t Equate to Love
Sex is something special and valued. But, it does not equal love. You don’t always need physical attraction to love someone. After all, you love your parents, siblings, teachers, and friends without any physical attraction. One might think that is a different kind of love. But is it? No! Love is not just about physical intimacy but also a deeper emotional connection.
Sex covers the physical and emotional needs of a relationship to a limited extent. It alone won’t guarantee your happiness in a relationship. Fortunately, sex isn’t the only form of intimacy in a romantic relationship. What about sipping hot coffee on a rainy day and talking for hours about absolutely everything and nothing at all? How about netflixing your favorite shows on a weekend? How about doing your favorite activity such as hiking or skiing together?
All of these factors are as crucial for your relationship as the physical intimacy. But most importantly, doing something together (other than getting physical), helps create a bond of trust between couples. The lack of trust in a relationship often leads to paranoia, constant worrying, and the feeling of insecurity.
3. Good Communication Is the Foundation of Trust
When the physical attraction is at its peak, it seems like there are no problems in your relationship. It happens because most couples are skipping them over and not facing them head-on. And, that happens as there is no communication. Without communication, there is no trust. A relationship based on lies isn’t a healthy one.
However, when it comes to communication, honesty matters a lot. Even a small white lie can turn into a big issue eventually. So, try to be 100% honest with your partner while communicating. The communication, though, needs to be mindful. You should listen carefully to what your partner has to say and try to reflect on it. Whether it is a good or a bad feeling, your partner needs to and deserve to feel heard. So, be in the moment while you are communicating.
You will also need to understand your own feelings before talking to your partner. Communication isn’t about long-winded lecturing or throwing accusations or being judgmental. If you aren’t entirely sure where the issues are coming from, take some time to think them over. Try to figure things out before opening your mouth.
Communication is necessary, but you can’t change who your partner is. You have to accept them as they are. Despite excellent communication, there will be a difference of opinion sometimes. Learn to respect each others differences, beliefs, and preferences. In other words, you should give each other emotional space sometimes.
Of course, none of this is possible without hard work. Nurturing a relationship for years is not for the faint of heart. A good relationship will require both you and your partner to venture away from your comfort zones from time to time. It involves giving each other some alone time, taking a step back, and making sacrifices. That’s probably why most couples are unable to have a long and healthy relationship.
However, those couples who are actually in love with each other can make these things happen. They learn to take care of each other, stand up for each other, make each other laugh, and put each other’s needs in front of their own. If you haven’t done any of this till now, you are probably emphasizing too much on the physical factor. Take a moment, think about it, and try to see the emotional aspect of your relationship. Trust me that will be the greatest relationship you will ever have.