If you’ve been on a dating app lately, you already know…

Something feels off.

Endless swiping. Conversations that go nowhere. Chemistry that burns hot—and disappears even faster.

So what’s actually going on?

According to professional matchmaker Jackie Dorman, who has sparked more than 1,600 engagements and marriages since 2020, dating itself isn’t broken.

It’s how we’re showing up.

And honestly… that tracks.

If this resonates, the full breakdown is in Modern Dating Sucks: A Matchmaker’s Guide to Finding Love in a Swipe-Left World—a refreshingly honest take on what’s actually going wrong in modern dating and how to fix it.

The Biggest Mistake People Are Making

We say we want a relationship.

But we don’t define what that actually means.

We show up:
unclear
reactive
“just seeing what happens”

And then we end up in situationships wondering what went wrong.

As Dorman explains, if you don’t walk into dating with your standards, values, and non-negotiables in place, you default to confusion—and stay way too long with the wrong person.

(We’ve all been there. No judgment.)

Why Swipe Culture Feels So Exhausting

Here’s the shift that hit me:

Dating apps aren’t the problem.
Making them your only strategy is.

We’ve completely lost what used to make dating easier—the “village.”

You know… meeting through friends, family, introductions, real-life connections.

Now? We’re relying on profiles and hoping for magic.

What actually works?

Tell people you’re ready.
Say yes to invitations.
Put yourself in rooms where people can see you.

Because someone always knows someone.

Think Like a Matchmaker (This Changes Everything)

Stop asking:
Do I feel butterflies?

Start asking:

Are they consistent?
Are they clear about what they want?
Can they communicate?
Are we actually compatible?

Dorman calls these the “real C’s”—and they matter more than chemistry.

Chemistry is fun.

Consistency is what keeps you from spiraling at 2am.

What Successful Couples Do Differently

They don’t just get lucky.

They do the work before they meet someone.

They:
know who they are
understand what they want
are emotionally available

And when things get hard?

They don’t run. They talk.

(Which, let’s be honest, already puts them ahead of most people.)

Dating Over 40? Read This Twice

If you’re dating after divorce or a long relationship, this is everything:

Don’t let your past become your filter for your future.

A lot of people build walls and call them “standards.”

But sometimes those “never again” lists are coming from pain—not growth.

Do the work. Heal. Reflect.

Because if you don’t, you might reject something healthy simply because it feels unfamiliar.

The Biggest Myth About “The One”

There isn’t just one perfect person.

And honestly… that’s kind of a relief.

Love isn’t about finding “the one.”

It’s about building something real with someone who:
shares your values
shows up consistently
is willing to grow with you

That’s what lasts.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Stop asking:
Do they like me?

Start asking:
Do I like them—and are they aligned with the life I want?

That one shift?

It will save you months (if not years) of wasted time.

So What Actually Works Now?

Real love today isn’t about:
more options
better profiles
perfect timing

It’s about:
intentional choices
real-life connection
and having the courage to choose—and be chosen

Final Thought

Modern dating isn’t broken.

But it does need a reset.

And maybe… just maybe… it starts with how we show up.