Guys, you shouldn’t tune this one out. You should pay attention in case a woman you care about ever experiences something like this. Ladies, one of the unique situations men can never fully understand is the chaotic, life-altering discovery of finding themselves pregnant. While much of the time it can be wonderful, there are times when a positive test result forces a woman to choose not to go through with the pregnancy. Adoption can be a viable alternative, but it’s not always an option depending on your situation. Sometimes, abortion is your only way forward.
First Things First
Stop feeling guilty. Don’t allow other people to judge you for a tough decision you had to make. No one else lives your life, so no one else is really capable of making your choices. Be careful about who you share your story with. Be sure you can truly trust those people you allow into your circle. Be specific about what your needs are and how you’re feeling. Cut yourself some slack by allowing yourself to rest when you need to and permitting yourself to feel whatever emotions you’re experiencing, even if those emotions seem to conflict with one another. Be kind to yourself.
If You Need More Help
Don’t forget, you’re not alone. Thousands of other women have gone through what you’re going through and made the same choice you did. Maybe some of them even made it for the same reason as you. Some women find that after abortion support needs to come from sources that don’t already exist in your day-to-day life. You may need to reach out through your clinic to find a support group. In that group, you’ll find women from all stages of recovery to help shepherd you through this tough season of life. Don’t rule out professional counseling as an option. Getting that kind of help is frequently disparaged as a weakness by our society. That’s totally wrong, though. Seeking a counselor to help you through your pain is actually a strength. It demonstrates your determination to move forward and be healthy.
Have a Little Faith
In addition to support groups and counseling, you might discover that reaffirming your purpose in life helps. Do you have already an understanding faith community who can bolster you? While many people in those communities may not understand your reasons for your decision, one of the major tenets of many faiths is not to judge others. Some faiths already have in place systems like scripture studies and mentors to help you heal. Others espouse things like weekend retreats or focusing on the pain of others or society’s ills to work through your own pain. If you’re not part of a faith community already, ask someone you trust to recommend their own.
Regardless of why you felt abortion was your best course of action, you should never allow yourself to feel like a second-class citizen for making this choice. You have value. You are important. You are entitled to not only heal from this but to thrive and be happy.
