Want to Have Healthy Boundaries? Define Your Personal Space

Do you feel exhausted by people around you, or drained from giving too much of yourself? This is a sign you may have trouble maintaining healthy boundaries. Signe (say Sig NEE) Myers Hovem, author of the new book “The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide,” shares how people can maintain healthy boundaries for happier lives, including how to:

Guard Your First Energy Field ­— Your Personal Space

Read on for details and contact us if you would like to speak with Signe!

An ordained Spiritual Counselor and a certified Integrated Therapeutic Alignment (ITA) practitioner, Signe says being aware of and maintaining our personal space is essential to emotional health. This starts with your “personal space.”

When someone gets too close to you without your permission, they are encroaching on your personal space. Signe describes this space as “the closest energy field to the body,” and says it is critical to your ability to “create healthy boundaries and a magnetic presence.”

“We typically are more aware of our personal space when we’re in public and someone gets too close,” she says. “When this happens, it can feel intrusive and brash, particularly if the other person has done it purposely.” People who have experienced bullying and abusive relationships suffer damage from having their personal space violated, making them feel diminished, vulnerable and weak.

Boundary-Building Exercises

Measure Your “First Field” – Close your eyes and ask someone to approach you. Say “stop” when you don’t want them getting any closer. The stopping point usually coordinates with the distance of the first energy field from the body, Signe says.

“A person with a healthy, balanced lifestyle and mental/emotional wellbeing will typically extend their first field to just beyond their fingertips, as if their arms were outstretched,” she says.  DaVinci’s Vitruvian Man drawing captures this.

”Someone with a smaller first field kept inside the fingertips when arms are outstretched will likely feel exhausted, have a taxed immune system, and will base their sense of self on what they do for others,” she says. “Conversely, a first-level energy field that’s well beyond the fingertips of outstretched arms can indicate a person who’s very guarded and private. Or it can indicate a Highly Sensitive Person who doesn’t feel safe within the environment and has created a larger energetic boundary to support their sensitivities.”

Create Space with Intentional Breathing: Take a few moments to breathe intentionally and deeply, centering and creating space for yourself.

“Breathing can be a quick fix on the spot, so I highly recommend incorporating a breathing practice into your self-care,” Signe says. “But to transform chronic patterns of mismanaged energetic boundaries, it’s important to do the inner work of defining and knowing who you are from the inside out. Holding and securing your own presence at your center is profoundly effective at creating healthy and respectful boundaries.”

About: Splitting her time between Colorado and Norway, Signe (Sig NEE) Myers Hovem is an ordained Spiritual Counselor and energy medicine practitioner whose recently published book, “The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide,” teaches highly sensitive people practical exercises to successfully be vulnerable, at peace in their bodies, connect to nature and feel safe with others. She’s lived on five continents, raised four children, pets, and has a soft spot for playing squash and golf. A good listener, she has a knack for sensing what is not being said.

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