How to Take a “Selfie”

As everyone with access to the internet should know, “selfie” was named 2013 word of the year by none other than the official Webster dictionary.    The selfie is still trending, and, now there is a song:

  It’s not about whether you selfie or not, it’s about how you selfie.


Jordana Abraham was just 21 and a graduating senior at Cornell University when she developed the idea for The Betch List, a series of maxims which satirically described the lives of her and her friends.
She and her roommates later turned this list into a viral blog known now as Betches Love This. By the time she was 23 she had published her first book,Nice Is Just a Place in France: How to Win at Basically Everything  which remained for over 6 months at #1 in the iTunes Humor Category and debuted at #12 on the New York Times Best Seller’s List.  Jordana is known for her sarcasm, wit, and classic one liners and provides hysterical commentary on everything from dating to fashion to fitness to celebrity drama.

Jordana Abraham, NY Times Best Selling Author and Founder of  provide some tips on taking the perfect Selfie:


 interesting backgroundGet an interesting background:  We all know what your face looks like so you better have a seriously beautiful background/famous person/ironic message to make this selfie worthy of leaving your photo stream. When they say #nofilter, that doesn’t mean not filtering the dumb post.





selfie while drivingDo not selfie and drive: As betchy as it is to drive like an idiot, you know what’s not betchy? Dying. Dying and/or being arrested for running over a pedestrian because you instagrammed proof that you ARE indeed an idiot. You might as well Instagram yourself driving while chugging a bottle of Moët while holding your fake ID (with the Mercedes symbol on the steering wheel in the background, duh).




selfie tuesday The day of the week is not a reason to selfie:  Congrats, you made it to Tuesday. That is not an occasion to make it #selfietuesday because you want to show off how blue your eyes are looking this morning in contrast with your new Givenchy sweater, which is half the reason you’re taking this selfie in the first place.






group photoGet some friends: But no new friends obvs. A multi person selfie is otherwise known to betches and Ja’mie King as a groupie. This is acceptable only because who doesn’t love to show how many besties they can fit in their selfie, and sometimes the group photog wants to actually be in their own pictures. Plus when you groupie, the toolishness of not having someone to take a real pic is spread over everyone in it so it’s like, not that bad.







malia-obama-sasha-obama-selfieYou look like a tool while selfieing: If you’re in public try to keep your selfie-ing to a few seconds no matter how pretty the sunset behind you is. The blurry nature of selfies makes everyone look prettier than they are, so if you can’t get a good one in two shots I am sorry but you’re prob just ugly.



mirror selfie

Mirror pics should stay in middle school: You are not a celebrity so therefore the fact that you once made a duckface or a wounded sparrow face or whatever the fuck you want to hashtag, is not a reason to put the world on notice. Taking a series of mirror pics is what you do before attending a sweet 16. Anyone who likes one of these pointless acts of narcissism is just trying to win points with you which they will cash in when you like their own pointless photos later. Just the facts.


Katie Couric and Randy Zuckerbeg also know about taking the Perfect Selfie watch here