Divorces are extremely trying times for both parties involved. The road to a divorce is littered with doubt, uncertainty, and exhaustion. It won’t be easy, but there are steps you can take to help you through the process.
1. Ask Yourself the Important Questions
When considering a divorce you need to stop and ask yourself some very important questions. These questions can help you logically think through what is typically an extremely emotional decision. You’ll never know the answers to the questions you don’t ask.
Have you communicated with your spouse about the issues?
This question allows you to determine if you are struggling with discussing the main issues that are dragging your marriage down. You want to truly identify what it is that is making you unhappy and bring that to the attention of your spouse.
Is this just a bad phase in your marriage?
Your marriage will go through some challenging times. It is almost as certain as death. How you choose to deal with those challenging phases is entirely up to you. It is important to know if the unhappiness you are feeling is just part of a bad phase in your marriage or due to a marriage that is actually bad.
How will this affect your children or loved ones?
While external factors should play a limited role in determining the outcome of your decision, you need to at least consider how it will affect children or loved ones. If the marriage has become so bad that it is already affecting your children, then it might be time to move forward with the divorce.
Are you sure?
You need to be able to say with 100 percent certainty that a divorce is right for your situation. Any hesitation should be considered as a sign that you need to reconsider the notion of divorce.
2. Consider Counseling
Before filing for divorce, you should exhaust every possible solution to repair the marriage. Marriage counseling is one of those options and has been proven incredibly effective for a large portion of marriages.
Marriage counseling allows you and your spouse to address the underlying issues that are causing discomfort and disdain in the relationship. It can help to open up communication that has closed. It can also help restore passion that may have been lost over the years.
4. Get Finances In Order
Finances are one of the main areas that couples fight over during a divorce. In fact, it is a main area that couples fight about, period.
Getting your finances in order involves identifying personal accounts, personal assets, joint accounts, and joint assets. You’ll want to make sure you remain on the joint bank accounts until the money is divided between the two parties.
Homeowners need to consider what they will do with the home. If children are involved, often times they will stay in the home along with one parent. If there are not kids involved, selling the home or refinancing is highly encouraged. These are the only ways to remove your names from the loan.
5. Keep a Paper Trail
Many divorces have a tendency to turn ugly. “What’s mine is yours” turns into “it is all mine”. Emotions flair and feelings are hurt during the course of divorces. This is why it is important to keep a paper trail of all communication.
Verbal agreements are hard to uphold in court, so it is important to have written proof of every discussion. Save all emails, text messages, letters, Facebook messages and anything else that involves communication with your spouse.
Having this written proof protects your decisions if your spouse decides to rescind on their statements.
6. Manage Your Expectations
The life of a divorcee is not necessarily glamorous. You have removed yourself from a bad situation which is a positive thing. However, it won’t be easy piecing your life back together. You are starting with a fresh slate but that slate may come with half of your money remaining.
It will be tough to adjust to your new life. You have just spent a certain amount of years living a certain way with another human whom you once had feelings for. You may not have that triumphant feeling of freedom or a rejuvenated sense of life.
It is important to manage what you expect to get out of life after a divorce. By all means, live your life on your terms, but don’t expect that sunny skies are all that lay ahead.
7. Hire a Divorce Attorney
If you’ve come this far in the article, you most likely are still considering a divorce. In that case, it is time to lawyer up.
Divorce attorneys are essential to the process. They can mean the difference between getting what you deserve and what’s fair, or getting nothing. Make sure you hire the right divorce attorney for you.
8. Find Your Support System
Finding your support system from the start is extremely important. These are the people such as your immediate family, closest friends, confidants, church members and others whom you trust.
They can provide you with endless counsel and support as you embark on your road to divorce. Having this support system will help you get through the hardships that come with any divorce settlement. They’ll also be there to support you when everything is all said and done.
Andrew Fujii is a marketing professional with expertise in digital/web and content marketing. He is also a copywriter for multiple agencies producing copy for blogs, articles, websites, product packaging, mobile apps, and more.