No matter how prepared you are to face the diagnosis of a seriously ill loved one, the news of a terminal illness can be devastating.
No one is willing to face the prospect of the death of someone close to them, no matter how much time they may still have. It is human nature to be distressed and have difficulty facing such unexpected changes of circumstances.
However, no distress can compare to what the terminally ill patient might be feeling at that moment. As hard as it is to deal with the loss of a loved one, facing the prospect of your death has to be far more nerve-wracking.
Instead of breaking down yourself, you should strive to provide your loved one with the best living conditions and the much-needed emotional support. Help them get through the sense of loss and overcome the fear of inevitable death to live their last days to the fullest.
They are also likely to be afflicted with medical problems like fatigue, appetite loss, disorientation, respiratory issues, and withdrawal.
How you respond to their illness will have profound implications for them. Therefore, follow the tips below to help our loved ones cope with a terminal illness.
1. Offer practical help and make use of all available resources
The first challenge that the patient and their family face is the financial burden of the piling medical bills.
Financial help will be a blessing in disguise for them. You can file compensation claims for certain terminal illnesses like mesothelioma in specific situations.
If you suspect that your condition is caused by exposure to asbestos at your workplace, a mesothelioma attorney can be hired to file a legal complaint against the company.
Doing so, if successful, can give the patient compensation from the manufacturers that they can be used to pay hospital bills.
Besides financial help, terminally ill patients also need a helping hand in their everyday tasks. Something as simple as getting a glass of water can become pretty tricky.
To make things easier for the patient, you should consider hiring a day nurse and modifying the environment to meet their needs. If you feel that you are capable of helping your loved one yourself, you can get advice from the patient’s doctors.
2. Be emotionally supportive
Getting the news of a terminal illness can be highly distressing to the patient; research shows that 40% of cancer patients suffer from distress, including panic attacks, PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
Sometimes, intense stress can cause everyone to become closed off and bottle up their emotions. This is very unhealthy, and you should engage in catharsis frequently.
Take out time regardless of how busy your schedule is; sit with them, talk openly, encourage emotional disclosure, read them a book, sing songs to them, and make them feel valued.
Sometimes when the grief is overwhelming, it might also be a good idea to seek professional help and consult a counselor.
3. Give them hope
Yes, hope sounds like an impossible thing when one is terminally ill; after all, hope is only present where there is an expectation of a better future.
However, regardless of how bleak the near future might sound, hope is always possible. You can encourage them to remain hopeful by emphasizing supportive relationships, managing pain effectively, and reinforcing strong religious beliefs.
Research shows that hope can improve their overall wellbeing, quality of life, and inner strength for sufferers of terminally ill patients. It helps them better cope with their suffering and come to terms with the situation.
4. Respect their dignity
Sometimes your attempts at helping the patient might make them feel undignified, affect their sense of self and independence, and invade their privacy.
Someone who is used to doing everything independently, when has to rely on others even for minor tasks, feels helpless and frustrated. Make a conscious effort to respect the patient’s dignity; don’t make them change or bathe with the door open if they don’t wish to.
Don’t leave them uncovered when you are caring for them. Don’t let nurses mishandle them. If they were used to keeping themselves neat and well-groomed, don’t let their deteriorated condition affect this habit of theirs; take on the duty yourself.
In short, no matter how dependent they become on others, don’t invade their privacy unnecessarily and don’t breach their sense of autonomy unless necessary.
A study showed that Dignity Therapy helped research subjects maintain similar levels of peace before a test and after follow-up.
5. Help them complete their wish list
The sense of impending death and the feeling of having only limited time left can be destructive. Patients might lose hope, and their condition will only worsen after that.
You must help them maintain a sense of purpose in life regardless of the circumstances.
Sit with your loved one and make a wish list of all possible tasks they would like to achieve. Is there someone they would like to meet? Some special occasion they wish to attend? Some friends they want to hang out with?
Someone they’d like to call? Jot down all such activities and help them complete as many as possible.
Even if your patient is bedridden, there would be certain things they’d like to do. Leaving them alone to their own devices would only make them feel more lost and helpless.
6. Go over fun memories
Reminisce some of the best memories with your loved ones and help them find joy in times of crisis. Spend as much time as you can with them. Open up old photo albums, visit a childhood neighborhood if possible, and recreate favorite childhood recipes.
However, refrain from it if you note that reminiscing the past makes them distressed and grievous.
Final words
Terminal illness is devastating to both the patient and their loved ones. A close support system is essential to maintain their mental wellbeing.
As family or friends of the patient, you should attempt to help the patient out in any way possible and make what little time they have left the best for them.
Offer practical help while respecting their dignity, provide emotional support, create and fulfill their wish-list, and spend as much time as possible with them.
How you respond to their illness and help them cope with the situation will significantly impact their lives.
