Most of us will go through a breakup at some time or another. Some breakups can be relatively painless, whereas others can leave you feeling heartbroken and gut-wrenching. What should you do to recover afterward? Here are some more ways to recover from a bad breakup.
Keeping busy is one of the best ways to get over a breakup. If you’re busy, you won’t have time to wallow in your feelings or think about your ex. Instead of posting breakup quotes on Twitter, fill your calendar with plans. You could do anything that keeps you busy, like booking a weekend away with friends, going to a new exercise class, or taking your mum out for lunch.
New experiences will make you feel much better, especially if you’re living your life just for you. Being surrounded by friends and family helps too.
When a long-term relationship ends, it can be hard to remember what you did with your time before you met your ex-partner. Instead of using all your new time to mope, take up a new hobby to keep yourself occupied. Trying new things, like dance classes or learning to sew, can keep your mind occupied, so you don’t have as much time to feel sorry for yourself. Having something new to throw your energy into can make you feel more like yourself.
You don’t need to do this immediately, but when you feel read, getting back on the dating scene can help. Sign up for some dating apps, go speed-dating, or ask your friends to set you up. Dating different kinds of people can help you to feel desirable again, and can help you to remember that there are people out there will be compatible with you. You don’t have to go out to look for the one, but dating casually can help you to rebuild your confidence after the blow of a breakup.
A breakup can be devastating. There’s no shame in struggling to get over it, especially if you had been together for a long time, or the breakup was especially messy. If you’re really struggling, seeing a therapist can help. Look for a therapist who specializes in relationships. They can help you to work through how you feel, and learn about yourself and relationships. A therapist can help you to use a breakup as an experience to better yourself, and do better in your next relationship. The things you learn can help you to have a more successful, healthy relationship next time.
It can be hard to make a clean break when you split up with someone, especially if the breakup was amicable and you want to remain friends. Some people do manage to stay friends after they split up, but it’s not easy. You can’t go straight from being in a relationship to being friends. You will both need some space first to recover and lick your wounds before you can manage to be friends. Agree to cut contact, at least temporarily. No meeting up, no phone calls, and no friendly texts. Give each other space so you both have room to recover. If your ex-partner keeps trying to contact you, you might have to be direct about what you need and why.
Journaling can be a very helpful way to work through your feelings. Spend some time to write in your journal and be honest with yourself about how you feel. As well as using the journal to write about how you feel now, it can also help to look back at older journal entries. By reading old entries, you might be able to spot patterns. When you’re dating again, spotting those patterns can be enormously helpful, so you don’t choose someone wrong for you or miss any red flags again. If, when you start seeing someone new, you notice you’re writing about them in the same way that you did your ex, this is a sign that something is probably not right. By learning about your own patterns, dating behaviors, and needs, you’ll be better able to clearly communicate your needs in your next relationship.
A breakup can be immensely painful, but the old cliche that time is a healer is true. There are lots of things that you can do to help your recovery on the way. Lean on your friends, keep busy, and take the time to examine and learn from your feelings