How many times during a disagreement with a significant other are you thinking ahead to what you’re going to say next instead of being mindful and listening to what your partner is trying to express? Throw our neurotic inner voice into the mix during any given exchange, and we have a whole chaotic narrative in our own minds. Then we miss the opportunity to be present and listen to our partner. You can see how being mindful during times of strife in a relationship could be valuable. In those cases, we would be more available to validate our partner’s feelings and come to mutual agreement about troublesome issues.
Amy Leigh Mercree, wellness coach, relationships expert, medical intuitive and author of the new book, A Little Bit of Mindfulness: An Introduction to Being Present, is available for interviews, bylines and commentary on the topic of mindfulness in relationships. Are you interested in speaking with Mercree?
Mindful Relationships Meditation
You can use this meditation to increase your ability to stay present and be mindful during relationship-based interactions. It is like weight lifting for your mind and heart.
In a relationship, any interaction is really one of the heart. Whether you define the heart as the organ that pumps your blood, the emotional energy center in the center of your chest, or the complicated chemical symphony coursing through your body, love is truly at the center of the matter.
In this meditation, we will embrace the heart and invite it to feel emotionally safe and nurtured. When the heart feels safe, we lessen the likelihood of distractions of an emotional nature that may take us outside of our focused presence. In Greek mythology, the goddess Aphrodite was known to govern love, pleasure, relationships, matters of the heart, and romantic unions. We will invite her archetype to school us in how to have mindful, harmonious, joyous relationships of all kinds.
Find a comfortable place for this meditation. Make sure you will be undisturbed for fifteen to thirty minutes. This is a wonderful meditation to do lying down, if you are able. You really want to allow yourself to relax deeply during this process.
1. Spend a few minutes noticing your breath as it comes in and goes out of your mouth or nose. Feel the sensation of air moving and passing through those areas of your body. Notice how it feels as it goes deeper into your lungs and how it feels as you blow it out as slowly as you can. Bring your focus to that air and really try to fill your lungs like two balloons. What if you could fully inflate them? What might that feel like? Bring the breath deeply into the base of your lungs all the way down. When you exhale, feel your lung tissue being revitalized. Feel the fresh air you’re bringing in oxygenate your body and feel the carbon dioxide and other components of the air you blow out. Feel yourself letting go of that which you no longer need.
2. In Chinese medicine, your lungs are oftentimes the storehouse for grief energy. Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to gently and easily let go of deep- seated grief. We all have grief in our heart and our lungs. Whether for specific life events or, more frequently, for things in our world or the world around us, it’s a natural part of being human. But if we can mitigate that grief energy, help it to flow, and let it go just as easily as it was acquired, we give ourselves the opportunity to have a more open heart and to feel greater levels of emotional freedom.
3. Use the power of deep breathing even as you’re walking to work or grabbing groceries at the supermarket. Do some deep breathing and oxygenate and cleanse your physical lungs as well as your lungs’ emotional energy. Let the emotional energy that no longer needs to be stored be released easily and gently through breathing.
5. Relationships are a dance of energy and light steeped down to physical, nonphysical, verbal, emotional, and mental interactions of every kind. But in the most basic sense, any interaction with another person, animal, or plant is an exchange of energy.
6. So, as you feel yourself in this restful meditative place, contemplate, without judgment, the interactions that you have with other people. Specifically, focus on the romantic interactions. Allow yourself to see, feel, and know which interactions and energy exchanges enhance you, which are neutral, and which deplete you. Simply notice this information. There is no pressure now to take action on it. It simply exists.
7. Now invite the benevolent, life-affirming presence of the archetypal goddess Aphrodite into your meditation by stating the following internally or aloud, “I ask that all that transpires in this meditation be for the very highest good of all life and in accordance with universal natural law, helping all and harming none. I ask that the goddess Aphrodite infuse the room and space in which I am meditating right now with her loving, ecstatic light. I now decree that my relationships will be harmonious, fulfilling, joyful, and full of infinite, unconditional love. I commit to being present in my relationships. I invite my relationship partners to do the same with great love and care. It is done.”
8. Remember that love is free. It transcends space and time. It does not require physical proximity. Love is an ever-flowing energy and yet it is also tangible and intangible, imaginative and real, particles and waves. Love is an infinite paradox because it is all things. We live in a paradoxical universe, and love is the energy that powers it.
9. Contemplate the infinite nature of love as you use the word love like a mantra. Simply repeat it internally as you meditate. Whenever your mind wanders simply say the word love. Allow yourself to notice each time you say the word love what it evokes. What do you feel? Do you envision a certain color? Or picture? Do you think of a certain person? Do you hear a song or sound in your mind when you say the word love within yourself? Do you smell fragrant roses or blooming jasmine? What is love for you on a sensory level? Let this awareness bubble up with no effort on your part. Allow yourself to rest in an infinite ocean of love. Float on its surface in complete relaxation and surrender to the infinite reality that is the truth of existence. You are love.
10.When you are ready, bring your attention back into your body and into the room. Feel yourself present in this reality. Use your hands to rub your feet, legs, arms, and shoulders and say aloud, “I am here now. I am present.” Make sure you drink plenty of water. It is important to be well hydrated after you meditate because your body may be engaging in self-healing as a result, and proper hydration can aid in the process.
11. The essence of infinite love with which you connected will help you feel a greater level of internal safety. And the intention to be present and mindful in your relationships will gently permeate your life.
Amy Leigh Mercree is an author, media personality, wellness coach and relationship expert who has been practicing for fifteen years. Her motto is, “Live joy. Be kind. Love unconditionally.” She counsels women and men in the underrated art of self-love and self-acceptance to create happier, healthier lives. Mercree teaches internationally sharing Medicine Woman Bootcamp, New Moon Goddess Bootcamp, Heart Shamanism, and Goddess Shamanism classes. Her services include online sessions. Mercree is the author of The Spiritual Girl’s Guide to Dating: Your Enlightened Path to Love, Sex, and Soul Mates, A Little Bit of Chakras: An Introduction to Energy Healing, Joyful Living: 101 Ways to Transform Your Spirit and Revitalize Your Life, The Chakras and Crystals Cookbook: Juices, Sorbets, Smoothies, Salads, and Crystal Infusions to Empower Your Energy Centers, The Compassion Revolution: 30 Days of Living from the Heart, A Little Bit of Meditation, A Little Bit of Mindfulness, Essential Oils Handbook, and Apple Cider Vinegar Handbook. Mercree has been featured in Glamour, Women’s Health, Inc., Shape, The Huffington Post, Mind Body Green, CBS, NBC, Hello Giggles, Reader’s Digest and many more. Mercree holds a degree in early childhood education and worked as a Montessori Kindergarten teacher for seven years. She is also founder of Allegria Marketing, a boutique agency specializing in targeted marketing for wellness, beauty, and lifestyle brands. Mercree resides in Florida and enjoys reading, writing, art, dancing, snorkeling, free diving, and body boarding.
Connect with Amy Leigh Mercree on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat @amyleighmercree and visit www.amyleighmercree.com.
A Little Bit of Mindfulness, Essential Oils Handbook, and Apple Cider Vinegar Handbook are available in paperback and e-book on Amazon and other retail locations.
