New Survey Shows Singles are Looking for Self-Sufficient Partners, Not Someone That Still Heavily Relies on their Mom
Dating.com – part of Social Discovery Group, the company behind over 40 online dating sites – today revealed that overbearing moms have hindered their adult children’s relationship skills, making them less desirable as a potential matches.
“Being in a relationship with a partner that has an overbearing mother can be draining, and displaying characteristics of being a ‘mama’s boy’ or a ‘mama’s girl’ is a big red flag for many,” said Maria Sullivan, Dating Expert and Vice President of Dating.com. “When a person’s relationship with their mother or parent begins to have lasting negative effects on their romantic relationships and dating life, there may be a real need for this person to reevaluate their boundaries.”
Key survey findings include:
- 67% of respondents reported that they have dated a person whose relationship with their mother negatively impacted the romantic relationship
- Of those surveyed, 56% said that their ex-partner’s overbearing mother is the main reason why the romantic relationship ended
- 78% of respondents reported that they would not date a new partner that they consider to be “overly close” to their mother
- 48% of those surveyed reported that their partner’s mother tried to intervene in their relationship at least once
- Of the negative “mama’s boy” qualities, daters reported that lack of independence and the inability to make decisions alone were the top most toxic characteristics.
- 62% of respondents noted that their “mama’s boy” ex-partner expected them to handle all the chores like laundry, dishes, etc. without a helping hand. Of these respondents, 81% said their partner didn’t know how to use a dishwasher or how to do their laundry.
“While being in a relationship with both your partner and your partner’s mom can be a lot to handle, it doesn’t always mean your relationship is doomed,’” continues Sullivan. “If you find the good outweighs the bad and if you have a meaningful connection with each other, there may be a way to salvage the relationship through communicating boundaries. After all, someone who treats their mom or parents well might also be signaling they have what it takes to be a loving and caring significant other, too.”
Maria’s tips for overcoming a partner’s overbearing mother include:
- Communicate your concerns early on. If you begin noticing the opinions of your partner’s mom are a heavy weight on your relationship, let your partner know your boundaries early. If their mom or parent is overbearing, you will need to navigate the situation together. Be vocal if your boundaries are being crossed. If you keep your concerns to yourself, this will create bigger issues down the line that might not be as easy to control.
- If you care about your partner, don’t completely shut out their mom. While it can be overwhelming and stressful, it’s still important to create some sort of bond with a potential in-law. Compromise with your partner on an arrangement that works for both of you. This might mean your partner is seeing their mom or parents without you sometimes or most of the time.
- Encourage their independence and don’t baby them as their mama did. Typical “mama’s boys” and “mama’s girls” are used to having everything done for them – laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person that thinks you will take over the tasks and chores their mother or father previously handled for them, set clear expectations for them. If you keep babying them, this will perpetuate issues that might not be as easy to correct down the line.
- Don’t make it a competition. When you’re dealing with a “mama’s boy” or “mama’s girl”, it’s likely that they’ll often choose their mother’s side over anyone else’s. Try your best not to view this as a competition, being that you’ll likely be left disappointed if you force them to choose. As long as your partner is consistently giving due attention to you, aim to focus on the positive.
For more information and to meet your match, please visit www.dating.com.
About Social Discovery Group: Social Discovery Group (formerly SDVentures) is a global tech company comprising over 40 brands, an investment fund, and a venture studio. It focuses on solving issues of loneliness, isolation, and disconnection through social discovery companies. With offices on five continents and a team of more than 700 professionals, the company serves 250+ million users across 100 countries. For more information, please visit www.socialdiscoverygroup.com.