There is no such thing as a fairytale life after marriage. Marriage means having to constantly adjust and be considerate of another person for as long as you are married. Though conflicts and misunderstandings are a common part of marriage, there are things that can indicate a big looming problem. We’ve recently spoke with the team at Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc. a Toronto private investigation agency that specializes in cheating spouse investigations. They’ve compiled a list of the blaring signs of when you need a marriage counselor to help you and your partner save your marriage.
When Talking to Your Partner Seems Like an Alien Concept
Things have gone really south when even just considering talking to your spouse about issues seems so foreign to you. This may be because you are afraid to face issues that need to be brought to the surface.
When Talking Always Ends Up With You or Your Partner Getting Hurt
Some couples talk but what needs to be said are left out of the conversation, making one party feel neglected, set aside, or unimportant. When talking isn’t communicating what both parties want to convey, it is time to seek professional help.
When You’ve Stopped Talking
Refusing to talk to each other means a huge communication issue. Perhaps there are hurdles that a marriage counselor can help with addressing.
When You’ve Become More Like Roommates
Married couples shouldn’t live separate lives. Yes, individuality is encouraged and accepted, but when you are just two people who happen to live under the same roof, then it is only a matter of time before you stop living together or fully going your separate ways. A skilled counselor can help you pinpoint what is going on.
When You Are Cheating or Contemplating Cheating
A cheating spouse is a death sentence to most marriages so even contemplating having one means that the situation is dire indeed. To save your marriage, both you and your partner will have to be committed to forgiving past transgressions and moving forward. If you feel the need to hire a private investigator to find out whether or not your spouse has been cheating, then clearly the trust has been broken and a marriage counselor might be the next logical step.
When One of You is Punishing the Other By Withholding Affection
If someone is acting like a parent in a marriage, then the imbalance of power that results from this can eventually topple the relationship over. Act before that happens!
When One of You Have Begun Hiding Money
When one partner is financially unfaithful, the relationship sours into a power play of material things. It is not wrong to have separate bank accounts or to purchase properties in your own name, but doing so while hiding this from your partner can really kill the trust between you two.
When There is a Sudden Change in Your Sex Life
It is normal for married couples to have periods when they are more active or less active in the bedroom, but when sex has become nonexistent for an extended period or there is a sudden spike in your partner’s enthusiasm, then there may be underlying factors that need to be discussed.
When You See Your Partner as The Enemy
Your husband or wife is your partner. You are on the same side, or rather, you should be on the same side. There is no such thing as separate sides in a marriage; so when you’ve begun seeing your partner as the enemy, your relationship is in for a careful evaluation.
When You Begin Having Unrealistic Expectations
Your partner is only human, just like you. When you’ve begun expecting your partner to change for you and lose himself or herself in the process, or when you’ve begun thinking that your relationship will change if only your partner will change to your ideal, then you need professional help to help things go back to normal again.
