There are pros and cons to dating an introvert: they are often more interesting, loyal, focused on you, and are deeper and more confident than outward appearances might initially suggest.
SUSAN TROMBETTI: is THE go-to expert on all things love. As the CEO and founder of Exclusive Matchmaking, she has made love connections with her clients from all over the country. Here are her tips:
When it comes to shyness/anxiety, these are some of the types of people I find matches for everyday. As a matchmaker, I can’t just give them a date without addressing the clients extreme shyness and anxiety around dating. They can’t open up enough on a date one to be asked out for a second date. I have one young, executive woman just like this now. We coach clients to do the following:
1) Leave your comfort zone. If you have only a handful of friends you hang out with all the time, force yourself to make more. Just go out with the point of talking and connecting with just one person and gradually increase it. It doesn’t have to be a member of the opposite sex at first, but start working that in as a goal.
2) Put yourself in a social setting with a lot of people. It could be a party or a happy hour. At first, just talk to one member of the opposite sex for 5 minutes and then leave. Knowing that you have a limit takes the stress out of it. Be sure to congratulate yourself on your accomplishment and gradually increase.
3) Pick three current events to talk about on a date that aren’t political or sad. This way you can make small talk. Think sports, birth of the royal baby, the sale of the Washington Post. Things like this go a long way.
4) Realize most people are too selfish to be that tuned into you even though you are worried about how stupid, how silly, how awkward, or insert whatever word you think they are thinking of you. They are more worried about themselves and maybe even their own awkward behavior to really notice the things you worry about.
5) Make a calendar of events for the month. Make sure each event is different from the other. Force yourself out to interact without your comfort friends. Do all this alone. At the end of this time, it will force you to become at least more comfortable socially and less awkward. At this point, you are ready to date. Sometimes just doing this will lead to dating. Shy people tend to stay home and never meet people. At least you are meeting people which is key to dating.
As a certified executive member of The Matchmaking Institute, Susan’s insight and intellect is highly sought after by media outlets all over the world. Susan has made numerous television appearances and her advice has graced the covers of major publications including Cosmopolitan, Shape, MSN and many more. When she’s not looking for love for her clients, Susan is giving back to the community, sponsoring local charity events and rubbing elbows with A-list celebrities at parties and events scouting for her next perfect match.
Susan Trombetti is an upscale matchmaker who has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Shape, MSN, iVillage and other media. Her website is exclusivematchmaking.net.
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