Thinking about a “happy holiday” may take us back to the classic Bing Crosby song, but what does it mean to actually have peaceful and happy holidays, especially with children? Isn’t this really the season of running around with our hair just a little on fire, if not in a full conflagration?
I’d like to order up even just one silent night, please.
What is the holiday spirit, anyway?
If we’re talking about the magical moment the kids come downstairs and look under the Christmas tree, that’s certainly cause for holiday cheer.
Or maybe it’s the happy-family-on-the-greeting-card moment, where everyone looks frozen in time and in eternal bliss, as if the photo represents everything that’s happened within the past year.
That’s not always reality, though.
What we know as parents, however, is how many attempts it takes to get the greeting card just right…with so many wrong photos before we snap a good-enough winner.
Perhaps we struggle with the holidays. Maybe we’re more in need of a Holiday Survival Guide than we are a sentimental journey down memory lane.
We need to make space for truly happy holidays–because if we don’t, we’ll miss them.
The festive cheer we’re seeking, as part of a joyous holiday season, is about some element of magic that’s hard to define–but we know exactly what it is when we feel it. It’s a little bit like those early feelings of falling in love. There’s something of a sparkle in our hearts.
Most of having truly happy holidays, frankly, comes down to creating space for them: a space where happy holidays are about more than warm wishes and generous gifts.
They’re about more than spending time with extended family and loved ones, which may or may not be magical to all. (I hope that it is a happy time for you, but I also acknowledge that it’s not always the case for everyone. If we’re more easily triggered during the holidays, that can be normal–and we’ll need to focus all the more on peaceful parenting.)
Happy holidays are about more than parties and good cheer and warmest wishes on a greeting card.
Part of our ability to feel joyful and spread holiday cheer to others is about having hope that we’ll all be able to slow down enough to authentically and deeply enjoy one another–and especially our children. After all, they’re only going to come down the staircase so many times…
We’ve got to cut out some of the unnecessary “noise” in the meantime.
With that said, here are give ways to have a wonderful holiday season–truly happy holidays–with your smallest loved ones.
The magic is here and available to all of us if we’re willing to make room for it.
5 Tips for Happy Holidays
1. Follow normal routines for YOUR CHILD as much as possible.
Keep their routines00snack and mealtimes, bedtime, etc.–sacred (with some flexibility for special events if that appeals to you). Little bodies don’t care that it’s December. Children thrive on predictability and emotional safety, not exhaustion.
You get to play this card as long as you need to–you’re not obligated to drag the kids to activities that are going to mess with whatever rhythms work well for them.
2. Follow your normal routines for YOURSELF as much as possible.
Respect YOUR snack and mealtimes, bedtime, etc. We need these, too! Adults often overextend themselves and then pay the price – we don’t magically need less sleep than usual during the holidays.
If it feels right to you, it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re in a different season of life than you were in before you had kids. Happy holidays are more likely to happen if we’re not physically and emotionally exhausted.
3. Be aware of your child’s limits for sensory input.
The holidays are LOUD and BRIGHT. Even just walking down a beautifully decorated street–while magical in its own right–can be a lot for adults’ and children’s nervous systems to process (especially for sensitive children).
To the extent that sensory input increases, we need to proportionately decrease sensory input elsewhere.
4. Don’t assume your child will want to do “all the fun activities.”
Check-in and trust them. If they say they don’t want to do an activity, that’s okay. There’s always next year. Or not. You are the Guardian of the Schedule. That sounds important, doesn’t it? That’s because it is!
Resist the temptation to sign up for all the things, and instead, prioritize whatever golden moments come naturally. It’s amazing how many of those can happen right at home.
- Schedule extra connecting downtime with your child every single day.
Make sure your kids feel that they are the priority in your holiday season. They make your holidays sparkle, and you, theirs. Perhaps you can start a happy holidays tradition where you read a holiday story every night after dinner, for example.
What traditions are you starting together? These moments of connection are what create a truly fun-filled holiday season.
Happy holidays with kids are within reach
May peace on earth begin right at home with your family, and may the holiday season bring joy and connection to you and your children.
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Sarah R. Moore is the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. As a Master Trainer in conscious parenting, she’s also a public speaker, armchair neuroscientist, and most importantly, a Mama. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, & Twitter.
