Beginner’s Guide: How to Please Your Dominant Partner?


In real life, you can hold a senior position, be a parent, or volunteer in an animal shelter, while in the bedroom you can be whoever you want – a teacher, slut, policeman, or just a naive stranger – you name it.

Erotic roleplay is not only the way to escape from reality at least for an hour, but it can also help you connect with your partner on a deeper level. Asking your lover to talk dirty to you during sex or admitting that you like being slapped can make you feel vulnerable. What if my partner thinks I’m weird?

Nevertheless, opening up to your partner is inevitable, and the sooner you discuss your sexual preferences, the better. According to a number of experts, satisfying sex life is one of the keys to a strong, healthy relationship.

It would be better to have an honest conversation with your partner in the beginning rather than shock them during the actual intercourse. Discuss what kind of roleplay turns you on, what positions and sex toys you enjoy the most, and what your sexual boundaries are.

If your partner happens to love dominating in the bedroom and you don’t mind such a scenario, explore the subject in greater depth.

What Does It Mean to Be Submissive?

Sexually submissive individuals prefer to turn over all the power to their lovers during sex. Some people intentionally seek dominant partners because giving responsibility to others turns them on. Feeling out of control can be thrilling because it is dangerous and requires a lot of trust from both sides.

Being submissive is actually a healthy expression of yourself and your sexuality. If you like the idea, but don’t know how to approach it, find ways to spice things up.

Use Your Tongue

Nothing about oral sex (yet). If you just have started to experiment with submission, you should definitely try the dirty talk before anything else. It shouldn’t send you into a panic since the basics are pretty easy. Keep in mind that your dominant partner will most likely be the one to direct the conversation. You, in turn, should show them that you listen and obey.

Tell your partner ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ whenever they slap your ass or kiss your neck. You and your partner should discover the trigger words on your own. For some people, being called a slut is unacceptable, while for others, it’s a huge turn on.

It shouldn’t be that awkward since you can always give non-verbal signals whenever something goes wrong. For instance, if you like certain dirty words or orders your partner gives you, show your lover that it satisfies you – you can moan louder, bite your lips, and scratch their back. Also, you can simply agree to what they say: I’m your slut, Master.

In case the dirty talk is a very new thing for you, consider chatting with strangers online. If you happen to be single now, sex chatting might actually be a lot of fun. Is FuckNow legit? What’s about Badoo or Tinder? Find a platform that will not be connected to your social media and has a lot of positive reviews.

Sex chatting won’t only help you kill time, but it will also help you understand which words turn you on. Keep in mind that you will need to update your ‘list’ from time to time in order to avoid boredom. Being a ‘slut’ after 30 years of marriage might not be as exciting as it was after one month of dating.

Find Props

If you truly want to please your hungry for adventures, dominant partner, consider using some sex toys. You can either get a BDSM kit for Valentine’s Day or use things around you. The standard package includes handcuffs, whip, a gag ball, and some bondage materials, but you can also use your belt, sleep mask (as a blindfold), and spatula (as a paddle for spanking).

Moreover, you can try playing with candles, ice cubes, and feather duster (in case you don’t mind being tickled).

There is one rule, though. All props should be discussed beforehand. Also, consider asking your partner to start slowly, so that you can get used to it.

Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Dominant Partner

Some people mistakenly believe that being submissive means absolute compliance. When in fact, you can say “no” whenever you want because you have your rights in the fantasy world as well.

If rejection turns your dominant partner on, discuss it in detail. First of all, you should let your partner know if you feel comfortable with it. Even if there is the slightest doubt, don’t go for it. Indulging in a rape fantasy is not for everyone.

However, if you and your partner don’t mind acting out roles of coercive sex, make sure to come up with a “safe word.” You will be able to use it in case you feel anxious, uncomfortable, or if you are in pain.

This word shouldn’t be related to the situation at all. It can be Tamagotchi, avocado, okie dokie, or Mississippi. These words have nothing in common with sex (for the majority of people), and can easily underline your point – you don’t get pleasure any longer and want to stop for real.


The Bottom Line

The most important thing to remember is that every submissive and dominant relationship is different. Some people would only indulge this fetish during intercourse, while others live such a lifestyle and call their partner Sir or Mam on command. You can try pushing boundaries with your partner, but only if it brings you pleasure.

Everything that happens in your bedroom stays there forever. You can be whoever you want. Have you already discovered your role for tonight?

@Maya Kinsley


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