As much as we love watching “Mad Men” and pretending Don Draper is sitting next to us at a bar, the 1960s are over, and that’s a good thing. Sitting there and looking pretty isn’t going to pull in the perfect boyfriend. Neither is dressing up like a tart, getting drunk and humping the dance floor. The recipe for a perfect approach is somewhere in the middle of Silent Sally and Trashy Tina, and it’s up to you to purvey the most enchanting side of yourself to your prince charming to-be.
The Art of Being Nonchalant
Love expert Eddie Corbano emphasizes the importance of taking down the “defensive shield,” but not to the point where your heart is on your sleeve. We’ve all heard how important it is to have confidence: it’s like a broken record to most of us. But what does that mean exactly?
It means that there’s really no reason to be insecure or presumptuous when approaching a man. If you’re worried about how he’ll judge you, not only is it obvious to him, it’s probably going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Any man that’s rude or judgmental towards you isn’t worth the ugly shirt on his back, so just tell yourself over and over again not to sweat it and just say “hi.” From there, the key to getting him interested is to show your personality and your differences. Variety is the spice of life, and men don’t want some boring, Pollyanna Stepford drone that doesn’t bring much to the conversation table.
The Art of the Number Exchange
This is a tough one, because many women feel they’ll look desperate if they give their number to a guy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Even if he’s married and has no interest in you, it’s still going to make him feel good (if he’s married and he hits on you, RUN). Most single men will respond kindly to any half-decent looking, cool chic (see #1) that shows interest in them. If they’re a jerk about it, then you dodged a bullet.
If you just met the man you want to give your number to, the perfect way to make the exchange is with your business card (probably a principle reason the business card printing industry still flourishes in the digital age). A business card establishes you as a respectable, talented adult without the pressure of making him add you to his contact list on the spot. A card exchange with a cute note on the back (e.g. Lucy, the awesome red head from the bookstore) is the perfect blend of professional and personal.
Know the Guy?
If the object of your affection is someone you already know from work or through friends, the number exchange is even easier. You already have a leg up on his interests, experiences and overall persona. The next time you find yourself in his general vicinity, take a moment to ask him about a shared interest. Perhaps you want him to burn you a CD from a band you both like (even if you already have it, shhhh), or need some advice on how to tear out your old carpeting . . . use it as a chance to grab those digits, then send him a thank you text for the advice/CD/wrench set you borrowed. When he responds, have something clever and quirky ready to say, but don’t text back immediately. The next time you happen to see each other, you’ll have established a more personal context with each other, and it can be a springboard towards hanging out à deux.
