Let’s face it. No one begins a relationship planning on it going kaput, but life interrupts even the most passionate twosomes. The sizzle fizzles and eventually dies out leaving couples wondering how they lost the fire that once consumed them. It happens slowly and is part of our evolving lives. We stop holding hands and start holding babies. We stop watching sunsets and start watching the stock market. We stop dancing and start dozing. We stop kissing long, slow, passionate kisses that stir embers of a smoldering fire…and opt for a peck on the cheek. Ugh.
Good news: Getting the heat back isn’t difficult and it can be fun! Try these fun and easy suggestions from 30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men (they work for women, too!)
*Kiss her like you mean it. The longer a couple is together, the more likely they are to stop laying a passionate, sexy, full-on lip lock on their mate. They kiss distractedly, routinely, impersonally. Stop it. Kissing is one of our most intimate acts. Kissing releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” and leads to closeness, bonding, and arousal. FULL ON KISS HER. OFTEN. KISS HER. NOW. Then, stoke that fire.
*Hold her hand. Touch is a powerful aphrodisiac. Remember when you were dating? You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. When you laced your fingers and ran your thumb over the back of her hand, you communicated you enjoyed being with her, were proud of her, happy to be close to her and that you were looking forward to where it might lead. So, hold her hand when you are walking or sitting. Hold her hand when you are on the town or at home. Hold her hand. Run your thumb over the back of her hand. Then look forward to where it might lead.
*Say “I Love You.” Yes, she probably knows you love her. She still wants to hear you say it. And it’s not just a girl-thang. When your favorite NFL receiver makes a touchdown, he knows he’s loved. But he leaps around for high-fives and fanny-slaps, and looks in the stands where his wife and mama and fans are screaming, “I love you!” I. Love. You. It gives her a reason to Read. Your. Lips. And kiss them, too.
*Write her love notes. You don’t have to be a poet. Draw a heart on a sticky-note and put it on the coffeemaker or bathroom mirror. Write “I love you” on scrap paper and put it in her briefcase or gym bag. Scrawl “Let’s put the baby to bed early tonight!” and tuck it in the diaper bag. Taking the time to write a short note makes her feel appreciated… and loved… and sexy. And.. well, what the heck are you waiting for? Let the blaze begin.
Drexel Gilbert is a career TV journalist and relationship expert. Her practical advice for couples is bringing healing and breathing life into relationships. 30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men is used by couples’ counselors and by men and women just like you. Find it at amazon.com and http://www.drexelgilbert.com/