TROUBLE SHOOTING PE
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I recently sat down with Scarsdale resident, Dr. Harry Fisch, a world-renowned urologist, men’s health expert and author of three books on men’s health: The Male Biological Clock, Size Matters and The New Naked. Well known to Howard Stern fans for his highly acclaimed “The Dr. Harry Fisch Show” previously on Sirius XM, Dr. Fisch is famous for his no-holds-barred straight talk about how men can get healthy, stay healthy, and experience the best sex of their lives.
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While talking with Dr. Fisch, I was fascinated to learn that the #1 male sexual problem is premature ejaculation. I asked the good doctor, how do you trouble shoot the problem for a guy who has… well… trouble shooting?
Here are some key points Dr. Fisch wants you to know about premature ejaculation and treatment.
OK, Dr. Fisch, what exactly is Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
First, thanks Stacy for bringing this topic out in the open. I know that when men experience premature ejaculation, it’s tough on both partners. And yet, most people are hesitant to discuss it because it seems judgmental.
So, what is PE? Well, that sometimes is difficult to pin down because it all depends on expectation. What’s “premature” for one couple might be just right for another. In the sexual relations world, we shouldn’t be “goal oriented” – like if a man gets to 2 minutes, it’s all good! It may NOT be good, at least not for the man’s partner.
Premature ejaculation is best discussed as ejaculation that regularly occurs sooner than desired, either before or shortly after penetration, causing distress to one or both partners.
How many guys out there actually experience premature ejaculation?
Well, some guys experience it chronically, and some experience it on occasion. But generally, in the US, approximately one in three men experience premature ejaculation. It’s the biggest sexual issue, and no one is really talking about it. Sometimes, it’s so severe that men may ejaculate before their penis has even entered a woman’s vagina. Others climax within seconds or a minute or two of entry.
And it’s not limited to heterosexuals either. Gay men experience premature ejaculation as well. The statistics are pretty similar.
Does PE ever go away on its own?
Premature ejaculation tends to resolve as men get older – the male biological clock eventually slows down the sexual response cycle. But who wants to wait that long?
By the time that “nature solves the problem”, men are in or past their thirties, and in many cases, they and their partners have experienced years of sexual dissatisfaction! Fortunately, premature ejaculation is easy to treat.
What do you recommend for slowing down in the bedroom?
First, evaluate your “alone time”. This is what I like to call “HANDS OFF.” If you’re experiencing premature ejaculation you might be masturbating too much. You may be training your equipment to ejaculate quickly because there’s no one else but you to experience it!
Next, think “STOP SIGN.” Try using the “Stop-and-Start” method. When you feel like you are nearing orgasm, stop for a minute. Learn to control the impulse to continue. This technique of withdrawal or ceasing movement helps build control by helping you learn to feel your “point of no return” and resetting before you go too far.
Try “the SQUEEZE.” This is similar to the stop-and-start method and many couples work with both techniques. When you feel like you are closing in on the big “O”, you or your partner squeeze the penis in a place that works for you to lower the sensation. Some places that work are just below the head of the penis, or at the base. Some men report that pressing on the perineum, which is the skin between the anus and the scrotum, or gently pulling your testes down and away from your body also work. These techniques could make the experience last longer.
Change things up! Some sexual positions may feel better to you than others. So, try the positions that don’t feel as stimulating! Many men can achieve orgasm quickly in the missionary position while letting your partner be “on top” takes longer. With your partner’s cooperation, switching it up may help both of you enjoy sex longer.
Remember: Less sensitive can be more sensitive! These techniques can help extend a man’s sexual response time, but they can put a damper on the experience for both partners. You may need to “stop” while not noticing that your partner is ready to “go!” Many of these methods require your brain to work in opposition to your penis.
I have found that many men just need to be a “little less sensitive” physically in order to be more sensitive to their partner’s experience. Using a desensitizer on your penis may help on its own or in conjunction with some of the methods I’ve talked about. There are many desensitizers on the market, but they tend to be messy or overly desensitizing.
With that in mind, I developed PREBOOST pre-moistened wipes, which slightly desensitize the penis without interfering with pleasure or orgasm. Each wipe is individually wrapped, so you can discreetly carry PREBOOST to be ready whenever the mood strikes! Portable and hygienic, they are available at www.PREBOOST.com. (use code STACY) for a 10% discount)
Look, if both partners in a sexual experience are happy and feel satisfied, then there’s really nothing to talk about. But, when one or the other partner is routinely distressed and feels that there was not sufficient time to enjoy the experience, then the man should seek to prolong the time to ejaculation.