17 Jul, 2012

Stop Working So Hard to Find Love

Posted by Stacy

Stop Working So Hard to Find Love
By Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers, Co-Founders of Inner Mean Girl Reform School

Did you know that in the average day you thinkin 60,000 thoughts and the vast majority are
negative, about yourself? That 93% of the images and words you see everyday go directly into
your subconscious, forming all kinds of beliefs and patterns you are oblivious too? And did you
furthermore know that of those images and words, the majority are filling your head with one
major message:
‘You are not enough.’
Which gets translated into things like …
“No one will ever love you.”
“Better to keep the relationship you have that risk not being loved at all.”
“If she/he doesn’t love you know one will.”
“You are damaged goods, unlovable.”
“You are all alone.”
Do you know where these crazy messages come from?
They are the voice of your inner critic, or what I like to refer to as your Inner Mean Girl for
women or Inner Mean Dude for men. And they can be relentless, overbearing, and be a
BIG downer and sabotager to your love life.

Unless that is, you have built up your Inner Wisdom to be stronger (more on that below).
Just like training for a marathon and building physical muscles, to be a successful, happy and
confident person with a fabulous love life, you’ve got to be strengthening your Inner Wisdom
muscles to be stronger than your inner critics tricks — and that means every day you and your
Inner Wisdom are hitting the emotional, mental and spiritual gym.
You wouldn’t go to the gym to start training your physical muscles the day before a marathon,
would you? No way! You’d peril on the pavement. So why would the marathon of your love life
be any different? It’s not.
Put these 4 self-love and inner wisdom building super tips into practice daily and you will
develop the confidence and conviction that you can do anything… no matter what the outside
world is telling you:
1. Stop Worrying About What Others Think. Trust Yourself
You can’t be responsible for how everyone else thinks about how you live your life or run your
love life, so stop worrying about how your family, partner and friends will react to your choices
and start getting real about how you feel about your life. Act from what you think is right for you.
We always know what the best action is to take for ourselves, when we slow down enough to
listen to our inner wisdom. It’s just not always easy to slow down or to trust our intuition. Be
committed to trusting yourself, even when it’s scary, and even when others disagree

2. Become Best Buds with Your Inner Wisdom and follow it’s Intuition
Inside of you is the best life and decision making compass ever – your intuition, the voice of
your Inner Wisdom. It always communicates what is best for you, but you have to be listening,
and you have to trust its advice. Just like a best friend, if you’re not calling, it will stop trying
to contact you. If you keep asking for advice but don’t take it, it will stop trying to help. Start
listening for the communication cues of your intuition – through words you hear, images you
see, feelings you have, and things you just know. Act based on what your Inner Wisdom’s
intuition tells you and you will start to trust yourself more, and as a result create the love life and
relationships you really want.
3. Never Apologize For Being You

Unfortunately the world is full of people, including our inner mean girls and inner bullies, that
want to keep us small, playing along and being ‘good’ girls and boys. When you listen to them
by apologizing for who you are, or by discounting your contributions, thoughts and feelings, you
squash your self-love. Be brilliant. Be you. And never apologize for it. If you don’t love yourself,
you can’t expect anyone else to either.
4. Create a community of likeminded people who support YOU

When you are surrounded by people who see you, love you and are on your side, your Inner
Mean Girls and Dudes lose their power. In order to stay in charge, your inner critics love to use
the tactic of telling you that you are all alone, that you are the only one who is all alone, and that
you’ll never have the relationships you really want! Lies and lies and more lies. The truth is that
you need connection with community to help you stay connected to the truth of who you are…
and to feel loved. Find those connections that already support you, and create new ones that
will continue to support you as you grow.
We invite you to try these antidotes PLUS get started on transforming your own Inner
Mean Girl.
If having a community of likeminded individuals that fully support you is something you’d like
to have more of, or increasing your intuition so you can fully trust the voice of Wisdom inside
of you is something you’re looking for, you can check out Inner Mean Girl Reform School,
dedicated to helping women and men ditch their Inner Mean Girls and Mean Dudes.
Join us for an Inner Mean Girl Reform School free open house call 3 Secrets to
Transforming that Self-Sabotaging Critic in your Head into a Self-Empowering
Ally Instead! You’ll learn the three secrets to reforming your Inner Mean Girl or Inner Bully!
For more information: http://bit.ly/InnerMeanGirl

About Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers
Christine Arylo, popular author of Choosing ME before WE, and Amy Ahlers, celebrated
author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves, have taken a stand for people,
especially women, everywhere to say NO! to being so hard on themselves. They are cofounders of Inner Mean Girl Reform School, a series of programs that give people tools
to transform their self-sabotaging patterns into new self-empowering habits. They’ve
successfully coached thousands of people around the world – including themselves – to
take charge of their inner critics

To learn more about their work you can visit them at http://bit.ly/InnerMeanGirl You can also
say hello to them and hear their messages of self love at @christinearylo @amyahlers and on
facebook at www.facebook.com/innermeangirl.