I’ve fielded a lot of calls this week. Maybe it’s because my friends
know I’m unemployed, or all my latest Facebook updates have been about
me losing my mind drilling for the upcoming GRE. Whatever the reason,
my phone has been ringing a ton lately — and I’ve been answering it.

College friends, high school friends, even friends from sleepaway
camp. All in their early twenties, like myself, all calling with the
same purpose: for advice.

It’s got to be a twisted world when people are turning to me for help.
I’ve graduated college over a year ago yet continue to live home with
my parents in Westchester while holding an under-stimulating and
under-paid internship. I talk to my dog face-to-face more than to
people my age. I play Jeopardy at night with my parents. I cross my
fingers every time I swipe my starter credit card that the purchase
will go through.

None the less, people keep calling and I keep answering. Questions
about careers, or lack thereof; questions about significant others and
sexy neighbors and screaming mothers. Questions about a million things
that, to me, all seem one and the same.

Hemingway called his generation “lost,” coming to age as the world
went to war. I call my own “afraid.”

My friends call because they are afraid. Worried that they won’t make
the right decisions, won’t lead the life they intended for themselves.
I know I am. But with everyday that goes by in my own life, and every
conversation I have with my peers, I learn a little more about this
crazy period of life known as The Early Twenties, or the “Post Grad
Crisis.”

1. It’s Not the Economy
It’s easy to pull out a stat (last one I read was 24% youth
unemployment in America) and blame your misfortune on it. But the
truth is, in great adversity there is great opportunity. I might not
have the editorial job of my dreams, but I’ve had a chance to do other
great things with my unemployment time I wouldn’t have done otherwise:
I ran a muddy obstacle course, learned how to build a campfire, gave
back to much-deserving wounded veterans, and beat my dad in Jeopardy.
If you look hard enough, you will find your pocket of opportunity. As
my friend Ben put it (who wanted to be a stockbroker but settled on
working for the Republican Party): “Everyone had to change their
plans. But it ended up okay anyway.”

2. College is, in fact, Over
This seems to be the toughest pill to swallow. Also the most critical.
Frat parties on Wednesday nights and naps at 3 p.m. simply can’t
continue if you want to enter the workforce. And if you think they
they can, you’ll soon be exiting the work force. College was great,
but it wasn’t the best. That remains to be seen. Pluses of work
include 1) money; 2) not having to live in a dorm; 3) Ummm… I’ll get
to back to you on this one. Bottom line is, everyone misses college.
But if you focus on the present, and your next age milestone (you can
rent a car at 25, for example) you’ll avoid being that “creepy old
alum” lurking on the freshman quad.

3. Nothing is Forever
The aforementioned phrase is spoken to me constantly; when people
suggest jobs with descriptions like “watering plants and maintaining
copier toner” (which, by the way, I have applied to but have not yet
been considered for). A first job is just that — a first. Everyone
would panic if they had to take their first job and work it diligently
through to retirement no matter what. I wouldn’t get out of bed if I
knew every day for the rest of my life I’d be stuffing mailings.
Decisions that seem big now are just small steps in the scheme of
things. I have friends on their third jobs already, and I have others
who surprised themselves by fallen in love with something they never
thought they’d even like. Fear is paralyzing, keep moving forward.

4. You want to marry him?!
Don’t.

5. Find Yourself Before You Find Him or Her
More than anything else, I hear about this. More than concerns about
making rent, or finding a job, or even getting health insurance. My
friends, male and female alike, are on serious prowls for significant
others. You’d think this would pair everyone up by now, but I guess
all my friends have too high standards for one another. On a recent
trip to DC, a local friend brought me to a grocery store known as the
“Social Safeway” for how many people are known to meet there. With
friends signing their first leases and buying their first puppies, I
see the temptation in completing the image of “home.” But I sincerely
urge — ok, beg — my friends, and all other early 20-somethings, to
wait. Just like you didn’t want to pair up freshman year of college,
you don’t want to pair up now. Not until you’ve got the lay of the
land, explored your freedom and got somewhat of a handle on your
career. Build that foundation first, and when it’s time to build a
home it’ll be all the more solid.

I have my own fears. Fear that I won’t end up happy. Fear that I’ll
bomb the GRE, and won’t get into the right grad program. Fear that
I’ll turn 30, be single and still think men are just large boys. But I
counteract these with a little bit of bravery, and a whole lot of
hope. That’s about all I have to go on sometimes; the hope that I’ll
find an OK entry-level job. The hope that my mom doesn’t find my
credit card bill until I pay it all off (yikes). Hope that I’ll get to
move out soon, and start my life, and keep my head together long
enough to make solid, rational decisions. For all us 20-somethings,
coming of age in these confusing, competitive times, I encourage you
to hope, too. Hope… and then work your ass off.

Lesson #6. Nothing
good in this life comes easy. Toughen up.

–
Nina Rose Markowitz

phone. +1 914 715 0834
email. ninarose.mark@gmail.com
linkedin. http://www.linkedin.com/in/ninarosemark

University of Miami ’10
University of Copenhagen ’09